Chelsea is coming to this world!

Today went for my check up. From every 3 weeks reduce to every 2 weeks... now, i have to go every week. Why? Becos my Chelsea is coming out to this world soon. Now already in the middle of week 35 and doctor say in just 10 days, Chelsea will be full term which means she will come anytime. Woohoo~ Both excited and nervous... Really can't wait to see her, to hold her in my arms and to take care of her.

At the beginning when my stomach haven't started to show, i still did not think of how to take care of her or having any feelings about her. But after more and more, everyday, touching my stomach, seeing it grows bigger and bigger, the responsiblity of taking care of her becomes a natural instinct. To know that there is a life growing inside me. Always thinking of how to teach her in the future and what to take note of when it comes to raising her up.

Now everyday, i think of the moment in the labour ward, waiting and bearing all the pain just to bring her out into this world and hold her in my arms. Seeing her for the first time, maybe laughing at her for looking so old as the first few hours of her life, she will looked wrinkled and old. Jb and i promise not to laugh at her but i'm sure, we will brust out in tears not becos she is ugly but becos of happiness.

Dr. Wong said she is growing very healthy. I think so too becos she kicked alot still and is gaining 500g every 2 weeks and now, she is already 2.5kg. It's still within the normal range. Good thing she is not too heavy, if not i will have problem pushing her out! LOL~

Today we did the scan and she is so huge now... i wonder how tall she is... but she sure looks fat in that scan... hee... Oh my Chelsea, papa and mama is waiting for u to come into this world and soon, we will have our house so that u can round in the garden and i will make papa to do a tree house for u and mama. Hee~ Je t'aime Chelsea. Papa and mama we love u~

In exchange for a new chapter of life~

2006 finally ends and let's welcome a brand new year. We are moving into 2007 and there are more events to come. 2006 marked a new chapter in my life. Last year, i gain something and lost something in return. I lost my freedom in exchange for a brand new life. I have skipped a lot of things in my life and this is the path that i took... Having my freedom go, i welcome my new family. Regrets? No... but really wished i can hold on to my freedom for a while longer.

It's not that i want to get my freedom back. I love my new family and welcoming my new baby is something which a mom can really gain happiness from and yet, not from other people but only from yourself. Somehow, it seems that this family is not just another ordinary family. It is something more than a simple family. It is also something that i wished for a long time that i could cancel...

In my life, i hate a few things to happen to me and some of them do happened on me. I hate being controlled by someone, having to live with someone that with do anything to benefit everyone esp, himself/herself. having to decide the things for me as that thing will at least benefit him in some ways... There are a lot of things that makes me rethink of giving my freedom away...

All i wish for is a simple family with no other people coming into our life. Right now, i only want the 3 of us to be a family and not include others. I don't wish my mom to know the existence of others. Of course, i admit i dun like them and in fact, i hate them... He knows but he want to let my mom know... and i hate that if he ever tell my mom about it... If they never pass my acceptance, i will not let my mom know about their existence. I accept him for having them and that is a fact. But he have to know, i want the only 3 of us to be our new family...

Until he can show me he is capable of handling this matter, then i will not rethink of letting my freedom wasted away for nothing... I am being selfish and yes i know that! He have to understand me as i have told him '000 of times that i am very selfish when it comes to this matter.